To New Chapters <3 (Island Gyal Edition)
- Cianna Benitez
- Sep 11, 2022
- 3 min read
WHEWW!! I can’t believe I took a 4 months hiatus, but it was much needed. So much has changed in the last few months.
But when it comes to new opportunities and doors opening, others must close. I parted ways with Chicago, a city I was starting to love as time passed. Hopefully, I can go back in the future.
It has been a little over a month since I moved to the island (Puerto Rico) and I can honestly say that I genuinely love it. I’m happy to connect to my language and my culture but to also really get to know myself. Throughout my early adult years, I have always been giving my energy to people/things that did not deserve it.
It feels nice to be on this next chapter on my own. Giving all the love and attention to myself feels good and it’s exactly what I needed to do in this 25th chapter of my life.
To be honest I do feel sad sometimes. So much has happened within the last month alone with my grandpa's death, parting ways in relationships and me uprooting myself to an island where I’m not that confident speaking the native language yet (that’s another blog for another day). So all of this change has felt very overwhelming and I have cried a few times. Sometimes I would feel that I am not learning Spanish fast enough or making new friends fast enough. But I have to remind myself to not rush and HAVE FUN. Enjoy your life and the right people will come in due time.
So I have assigned SOCIAL homework for myself this coming up weekend. I’m very excited about it. And YES I’m going solo.
Usually, when other people are involved in my plans I tend to subconsciously accommodate their needs first and leave my needs on the back burner. So this time in my life I am doing things JUST for me, and if people don’t want to come if I do invite them I STILL GO!
I know this may seem like a no-brainer to most people but I was in two long-term relationships (one was 4 years and the recent one was 6 ½ years). So I got used to doing many of my social activities with a companion or a friend. In this new chapter of my life, I am learning to do things for myself and by myself. I am dating myself and it feels sooo good <3
I am very happy and grateful for how everything turned out. I feel like I can fully focus on myself and put all my energy into my goals/dreams. Pouring into yourself unconditionally without zero limitations is the best way to live.
UPDATE (1 week later):
Real talk, after time has gone by I have found somewhat of a rhythm. It helps when I plan activities for myself that I genuinely love. So far I have gone on coffee dates with myself and other ppl, a yoga/vegan brunch event, beach day with my roommates, piñones beach, and the mall.
I've noticed that doing things solely for yourself is the best form of self-care and I forget to be consistent when it comes to this... I need to stop putting myself in the passenger seat and make myself the PRIORITY. I noticed that there are two sides to me, 1) I care about you so much and tend to put your needs in the relationship first leaving my needs unattended, OR 2) Being an ice-cold bitch and putting myself FIRST ALWAYS.
So I am doing my best to find a balance when it comes to that. At the end of the day, I hold space and love for myself to be authentic and if certain people don't like the real me then they are just simply not for me. Don't change yourself to fit into other people's puzzles of life.
Here's to finding ourselves once again in this new chapter my Chi Chi Pies. I'm so happy to be sharing this journey with you and I love you all dearly.
Here is also a photo of me in my room enjoying my view (and yes I have a mosquito net lol).
Lastly, I have made a 10-second reel on my insta in honor of this article. Enjoy!
Besos 😘
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