Relationship Edition (RED FLAGS)

Let's get right into it. Here are 5 signs you need to look out for in an unhealthy relationship.

BREADCRUMBING

If you feel like you are giving way more than what you are getting out of a relationship or that you are on an emotional rollercoaster you may be getting breadcrumbed. Breadcrumbing is a sign of emotional abuse since it involves manipulation.

Here are some major signs of breadcrumbing in a relationship:

• Their actions don't match their words

• Inconsistent communication

• They don't share much about their life

• They are less interested in you than you are in them

If you decide to continue a relationship with someone who breadcrumbs make sure to set clear boundaries and be direct with them.

But remember you do not have to settle with a breadcrumber. You can avoid people who do this and find fulfilling relationships out there.

If you ever encountered a breadcrumber do your best not to take their actions personally. These people don't care about your feelings and operate to boost their own egos.

You deserve a love that gives back equally and uplifts you.

Here is where I got my source on Breadcrumbing:

https://www.insider.com/guides/health/sex-relationships/breadcrumbing

BOUNDARIES

If your partner does not respect your Emotional and Physical boundaries then this is a HUGE red flag. People who do not care about your NO will do their very best to play dumb or get you to change your mind and bend for them - DONT LET THEM! Choose you because these types of people just want to see how far they can get away with it. A person who truly cares about you will respect your boundaries with no pushback.

Don't try to make excuses for other people's DECISIONS to disrespect you.

People like this will flat-out dishonor your boundaries and cross them continuously. Walk away!

MANIPULATION/GASLIGHTING

I put these two together because in my honest opinion you can't be one without the other. Signs of a manipulator/gaslighter are that they appear to be charming and sweet. That is why it is very important to listen to your intuition/gut feeling during your first interactions with someone.

Manipulators also avoid accountability, make you second guess your sanity, guilt trip you, ignore your feelings, use the silent treatment, and seek out emotionally & vulnerable people. They will also judge you and pick at your insecurities. Put yourself first and kick these people out of your life.

ROLLERCOASTER EFFECT

I know that I already talked about manipulation, and gaslighting but I saw this on TikTok and had to incorporate this into my article.

If a partner is consistently withdrawing, breaking up, or ghosting you to try to inflict pain and then shows up and gives you a reasonable excuse as to why they are treating you like shit.

And usually, the excuses make so much sense to the point where you start looking at yourself like "Maybe I'm just insecure" or "maybe I'm being too sensitive and need to let this go." This is called the Rollercoaster Effect!

Definitely pay attention to this kind of behavior, and don't be fooled by the sweet lies people say to keep taking advantage of you and to simply waste your time. These people will feed on your insecurities and manipulate/gaslight you into getting what they want. That is why it is soooo imperative to know who the fuck you are and know what you will and will not tolerate.

They will feed on your lack of self in order to control you. If this is happening to you continuously in ANY kind of relationship, SNIP-SNIP. Whether they are doing this intentionally or not it doesn't matter - it is your duty to spot this and believe the signs.

CONFUSION

If your partner does not know themselves down to the little things - RUN! They will take you on a rollercoaster ride with no remorse and say that you enjoyed it.

I was in a lot of confusing relationships due to people not being vocal, transparent, and honest about their true intentions. And trust me some of them will lie when you confront them about it. Do your very best to believe their ACTIONS over their SWEET WORDS when this happens.

As I am getting older I realize how important it is to not ignore certain signs in ANY relationship because they will never go away and they will only get worse over time.

What has helped me connect with my intuition lately when I am not sure about someone is this. After I am done interacting with a person, I ask myself some of these questions:

• "How did I feel with this person?"

• "Did I feel discomfort?"

• "Were certain things done/said cringey?"

• "Do I have the energy to be around this person long term?"

• " Was I able to be my most authentic self with this individual w/o judgment?"

IN CONCLUSION,

if you have a gut feeling (which we all do) when something is not right with your partner or you feel like you are overcompensating everything to be in a relationship with them. It's time to re-evaluate the relationship. You can't change someone that doesn't see a problem or doesn't seek help for their behaviors.

Like my girl Megan the stallion said "Ladies, love yourself 'cause this shit could get ugly"

Because BIITTTCCCHHH IT WILL whether you want it to or not.

Also, I don't write this article lightly. I have gone through a lot of relationships where I have felt bamboozled, taken advantage of and just straight-up lied to. I want young people to be aware of these signs when they go into their relationships and to rip the rose-colored glasses off. Remember to have intention, be transparent and set boundaries/the standard in all relationships. You can communicate all you want but if there is no mutual respect/energy for each other it will always fail.

Remember that you deserve everything that you desire.

Stay safe and Grounded my Chi Chi Pies <3